So, for those of you like me who have zero interest in professional sports that don’t involve soccer or a bicycle: a nasty sexual harassment suit is going on, and the word “bitch” has been rather prominent in the proceedings.
This has led to some interesting discussions about when you should and shouldn’t use the word.
Angry Black Bitch, a blogger I love, who has one of the clearest and most distinct voices online, has the best explanation ever of why she’s claimed the B word:
“Years ago I took notice of the kind of black woman being called an angry black bitch. They were often independent, powerful, incapable of bullshit, proud, defiant, militant and without a submissive bone in their body women of color who were being called angry black bitches in an attempt to regulate their behavior and teach them how The Man likes his black women to behave….”
Preach it.
7 Comments
They were often………..
But not always.
Some are just loud and ignorant and spout off constantly about their own victimization.
And how other people are responsible for it.
But never themselves.
So because of one or two people, we should ignore all the rest of the women who were called bitches because they didn’t conform?
Would you ever think to say that about white women?
I have, I have.
It has nothing to do with color.
It has to do with victimization.
I’m sure we can both give anecdotal examples so I won’t go into that.
Being loud and playing the race card all the time (which passes in some circles for militancy) does not make you a powerful person.
Is Oprah loud? Is she militant? I don’t always agree with her but is she not powerful? Or is she too white?
How about Queen Latifah (sp??) Now THERE’s a woman! She is loud and powerful. She is also charming and sexy.
But most powerful black women quietly raise their families under the worst possible circumstances and hope for the best against incredible odds day in and day out.
They are strong beyond belief and they are NOT bitches despite how their men treat them.
Now I’m starting to think you just aren’t getting what she’s saying–
Whenever I’m called a bitch, it’s because I’m doing one of two things:
1. I am not acquiescing to a request by a man for me to do something–it can be anything from letting a student drop a class, or to go out on a date. I say no, I’m a bitch.
2. When I’m not being quiet about something I think is unjust, I’m called a bitch. As in “Shut up, bitch.”
So, bitch can become a point of pride.
I’d rather not be called a bitch, personally. But it usually means I’m doing something *right* when I am.
She has it right. And I think she said it better than I could have.
I’m trying to remember how many times in the 40 years of my marriage that I called my wife a bitch and why I did it. Obviously I did it in anger but what was the root cause of my anger? I can’t see myself doing it for your #1 above but maybe #2. However, if I was in that type of argument with a male I would be calling him various names also. And she doesn’t hesitate to call me names. Which probably makes you wonder how we ever made it thru 40 years…..
I have no answer for that one.
Just to let you know. I went to her site and read much and think she is an extremely powerful and creative writer. I particularly loved her description of growing up with her autistic brother. My sister has two autistic grandchildren so I am somewhat familiar with autisim. I may send that part of Angry Black Bitch’s site to my sister.