Gah! I’ve mentioned before that I’m not all that clued in socially. So, when I came into work today, I found even more Xmas presents from coworkers on my desk. I’ve only been here 2 months. It’s incredibly nice of them. But:
WHAT DO I DO NOW?
I mean, I know I write a thank you letter, but…should I have been giving everyone presents? It’s too late to do anything now about Xmas, but should I do New Year’s gifts?
And why do I have to spend my money, when I’m trying to sell a house and a bit stretched, doing the nicey-nice social thing at a workplace?
Sigh. Why can’t we ALL just be Vulcans like me?
5 Comments
It’s always difficult sussing out the hidden curriculum / agenda / subculture in a new deparment. In ours, some of the people give things to everyone, and some of the people give things to the people in their rooms, and some of the upper-heirarchy people give things to the other upper-heirarchy people, and … ack!
How about bringing a fancy, party-size food platter for everyone in the department (with a polite mass e-mail so people know the intent), as well as writing little individual thank-you notes to the gifters? That would be my approach. After all, everyone eats! You just need some variety to accommodate the various oligophagous requirements of a few orthorexic coworkers (vegetarian, Kosher, low-salt, gluten-free, low-carb or whatever).
As far as having more “Vulcans” at work, you don’t happen to need an insect behavior person, do you?
Don’t worry about it. You should not feel obligated to give people gifts even if they gave you something… and if people DO expect you to reciprocate, then they aren’t very nice people, are they? I only give gifts to people who are very close to me. Why would I spend my money on near-strangers? I don’t think you should be expected to, either.
I think it’s okay to just say thanks. I don’t think anyone is going to label you as a troll or anything.
To paraphrase Brian Posehn — “Um … a PRETTY vulcan!”
I am glad there is no such custom in my office. I would hate to be in your position.
As a hard core introvert, I hate that type of situation, especially in a new office. I agree with other posters. A gift is given freely. If reciprocation is expected, then it isn’t really a gift, is it?
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