This will be a rather personal and introspective (i.e., navels gazed at) post, so if that isn’t your thing, just click away.
You might have noticed I haven’t been writing much lately. There’s a lot going on in my life, and I took some time off to decide what things in my life I’m going to keep and what things I’m going to dump.
Anyhoo:
When I started blogging in 2004, I was (I think) the only entomology blog out there. Now there’s a huge and thriving Bugosphere, and I don’t feel like there’s a shortage of good writing about bugs online. I do think it’s safe to say that I still lead the Buggyblog Pack on cranky, profanity-laced blogging about insects, but that is a somewhat niche market.
The reality of my life right now is that I took a job almost 3 years ago that has taken over my life. It’s hugely stressful. I strongly suspect that if I hadn’t taken this job, I’d still be married. I was outed as Bug Girl to my boss last year, and she ordered me to stop blogging. I’m just hoping her google-fu is weak and I don’t get caught.
So, the reasons to retire the Bug Blog (and the Bug Girl Persona, which is really just me with no polite censors applied) are pretty good.
But.
I do really like to write. And I’ve said all along that this blog is for ME, that it’s an exercise for me to practice writing about technical stuff in an entertaining way. And that’s…mostly true.
Along the way, though, I got into metrics and Technorati and blog rankings and lost sight of all that. A deep inner secret about me: I am a very competitive person. I mean, scary competitive. I like to WIN. I actually don’t play games if at all possible, because the aspects of my personality that emerge when I compete are disturbing. (I once found myself seriously thinking about cold-cocking a 7th grader that beat me at laser tag. And I was 32.)
So, it seems inevitable, given the monsters hiding in my id, that my motivations would morph over time. “Getting better at writing” morphed into “Global Insect Media World Domination Eleventy!1!1!!” Which meant posting something substantive and well written on a regular basis.
And I can’t do that with my current job or life situation.
A few people have suggested that I write a book instead of blogging, and while that seems appealing, I think that an entomology book heavily-laden with F bombs is not going to be a best seller. Again, niche market.
The one topic I’d really like to write a book about would be the whole Rachel Carson/DDT BS business, but frankly the people who are promoting that stuff scare me. I have gotten many, many threats over those posts, most of them threats of sexual assault. I can’t be force-fucked into believing their lies about a brave woman and a wonderful writer, but I have been convinced that I want to stay under their radar IRL. I’ve also had some rather unpleasant encounters with white supremacists, which further reinforces the need for me to write as Bug Girl, not my real name.
What I can do is post completely random ranty rants and pretty photos at this blog on a highly irregular basis. And that’s probably what I’ll continue to do.
What I’ll write about and when I’ll write it will be a surprise to both me and my readers, I suspect.
The absolute best part of blogging over all this time is the wonderful people that I have met–many of whom only virtually–who have been kind and supportive and wonderfully giving. Thank you all of you.
GROUP HUG!
