Painfully Punny Insect Songs

May 9, 2012 — Bug Girl

Earlier today #insectsongs started trending on twitter. I don’t know how it got started–but it produced some hilarious results! Here are some of my favorites–I’m sure I missed some good ones.

  1. FamousRob
    Livin La Vida Locust #insectsongs
    FamousRob
    Wed, May 09 2012 08:41:14
  2. artologica
    Great Balls of Firefly : ) #insectsongs
    Michele Banks
    Wed, May 09 2012 17:39:26
  3. rickmurnane
    Larvae On A Jet Plane #InsectSongs
    Rick Murnane
    Wed, May 09 2012 16:42:05
  4. gas137
    Tender is the Gnat #insectsongs
    Gary Severance
    Wed, May 09 2012 11:31:35
  5. Chris_bats
    Hit me with your rhythm stick insect #insectsongs
    Chris Damant
    Wed, May 09 2012 15:27:20
  6. rickmurnane
    Pupa’s Got A Brand New Bug #InsectSongs
    Rick Murnane
    Wed, May 09 2012 16:41:25
  7. sciencecomedian
    The Eagles: You can’t hide your Antlion Eyes #insectsongs
    Brian Malow
    Wed, May 09 2012 17:48:53
  8. EleanorDriscoll
    #InsectSongs Gnats in White Satin
    Eleanor Driscoll
    Wed, May 09 2012 16:54:20
  9. BioInFocus
    Unchained Meloidae #InsectSongs
    Morgan Jackson
    Wed, May 09 2012 15:31:19
  10. RowllyPowlly
    #insectsongs Tsetse Rider
    Rowland Paul Hill
    Wed, May 09 2012 15:44:25
  11. EntsocAmerica
    Stand By Your Mantid #InsectSongs
    Entomology Society
    Wed, May 09 2012 15:19:52
  12. sciencecomedian
    It’s just another Mantid Monday #insectsongs
    Brian Malow
    Wed, May 09 2012 16:34:43
  13. RowllyPowlly
    #insectsongs All I Wasp for Chrysalis is You
    Rowland Paul Hill
    Wed, May 09 2012 18:01:06
  14. OriginalBugNerd
    They See Me Leaf-Roller; They Hatin’ #InsectSongs
    Breanna Lyle
    Wed, May 09 2012 14:35:37
  15. EvanSmith2
    #insectsongs These Are a Few of My Favourite Stings
    Evan Smith
    Wed, May 09 2012 13:03:48
  16. OriginalBugNerd
    Lucilia in the Sky With Maggots! #InsectSongs
    Breanna Lyle
    Wed, May 09 2012 15:08:15
  17. jrdriscoll
    Gnat Out of Hell #insectsongs
    Jim Driscoll
    Wed, May 09 2012 14:35:14
  18. OriginalBugNerd
    Leaf-Rolling in the Deep #InsectSongs
    Breanna Lyle
    Wed, May 09 2012 14:51:30
  19. writerjosh
    Sympathy for the Weevil #insectsongs
    Joshua Allen
    Wed, May 09 2012 14:21:51
  20. OriginalBugNerd
    #InsectSongs When the Lice Go Down In The City
    Breanna Lyle
    Wed, May 09 2012 14:16:25
  21. GerryMDPower
    London Crawling #insectsongs
    Gerry Power
    Wed, May 09 2012 13:08:19
  22. Sidecar84
    #insectsongs Shiny Happy Beetles
    NickGeorge
    Wed, May 09 2012 18:00:05
  23. bugbiter
    Blister beetle in the sun #insectsongs
    Fred Larabee
    Wed, May 09 2012 11:47:21
  24. sciencecomedian
    Oliver’s Army Ants #insectsongs @davidkroll
    Brian Malow
    Wed, May 09 2012 17:28:14
  25. artologica
    Magic Carpet Beetle Ride #insectsongs
    Michele Banks
    Wed, May 09 2012 17:19:47
  26. bugbiter
    Day Skipper #insectsongs
    Fred Larabee
    Wed, May 09 2012 11:56:39
  27. twindy5
    Short Skirt/Yellow Jacket #insectsongs
    Cindy Aitch
    Wed, May 09 2012 11:47:22
  28. WiselinePRT
    Cricket To Ride. #InsectSongs @kzone8 @AudreyBeatle
    David Gow
    Wed, May 09 2012 10:38:26
  29. sciencecomedian
    Glenn Miller: In the Brood #insectsongs
    Brian Malow
    Wed, May 09 2012 17:02:18
  30. OriginalBugNerd
    And Flyyyyy Will Alwaaaays Love Youuuuu!!!!!!!! #InsectSongs
    Breanna Lyle
    Wed, May 09 2012 14:19:19
  31. OriginalBugNerd
    They See Me Leaf-Roller; They Hatin’ #InsectSongs
    Breanna Lyle
    Wed, May 09 2012 14:35:37
  32. TalesofOld
    #insectsongs Louse of the Rising Sun
    Shawn Robertson
    Wed, May 09 2012 15:05:38
  33. sheenagrad
    Notorious B.U.G. #InsectSongs
    Sheena Sidhu
    Wed, May 09 2012 15:27:27
  34. BioInFocus
    Killing me Sawfly #InsectSongs
    Morgan Jackson
    Wed, May 09 2012 15:01:38
  35. sno_flea
    Pupa’s got a brand new bag – james brown #insectsongs
    Aron Katz
    Wed, May 09 2012 17:30:59
  36. ozzjones
    Louse of the rising sun. #insectsongs
    Owen Jones
    Wed, May 09 2012 17:13:14
  37. Cotesia1
    “Don’t believe the hyperparasitoid” #insectsongs
    Marianne Alleyne
    Wed, May 09 2012 16:56:51
  38. bugbiter
    #insectsongs Grub Me Tender
    Fred Larabee
    Wed, May 09 2012 17:15:08
  39. artologica
    Thrips Don’t Lie #insectsongs
    Michele Banks
    Wed, May 09 2012 17:18:24
Posted in Entomology, Insects. Tags: . Leave a Comment »

Ribald Tales of Entomology Limerick Contest: 1st Runner up

November 14, 2011 — Bug Girl

It’s time for another reveal of a naughty winner in the contest! I’m at the Entomological Society of America Meetings right now, so it’s time to wind things up.

As you may remember, the ESA is sponsoring a “clean” limerick contest. I take the position that the only good limerick is a bawdy limerick. That’s just how I roll.

Our first runner up will have to assume the duties of the winner, should he or she be unable to complete their term as Miss/Mr. Ribald Tales of Entomology.  What are those duties? Um. Probably best discussed offline, really.

Our 1st runner up is Elissa Malcohn, for a series of awesome limericks that were so good, I couldn’t just pick one.  Elissa is a bit of a ringer, as a professional writer, and you can tell!

The mayfly is singin’ no blue-blues.
He knows Nature’s makin’ no boo-boos.
His doubled-up penes
Are not extra weenies:
The love of his life has two hoo-hoos.

The queen bee grows fat on royal jelly
So she can grow eggs in her belly.
Her suitors she’ll goad
Till their testes explode.
What else could she do, without telly?

The red velvet mite is the warden
Of sperm that he sprays on his garden.
A lovelorn female
Tracks his long silky trail
And will sit on his sticks, if you pardon.

Drosophila, species bifurca
Can take a long distance to jerka.
His sperm runs two inches.
(Dear lord, how that pinches!)
To unzip, this fly goes berserka!

Hoist a tankard to our winner!  And look for the Grand Prize Winner tomorrow!

Posted in Entomology, Insects. Tags: , , . 4 Comments »

Ribald Tales of Entomology Limerick Contest: Honorable Mention #4

November 8, 2011 — Bug Girl

Our winner today is an Honorable Mention for Best Traditional Format Limerick.
And by traditional, I mean they used the word “Nantucket.”  Nantucket has been an integral part of dirty limericks since shortly after Europeans figured out there was a continent over here.
Our winner:

A tick met a mite in Nantucket
She said if you bite it, I’ll suck it
But the human had DEET
From his head to his feet
Bugs need food too, WTF it!

Hoist a tankard to Laika, our fourth winner!
I’ll keep counting these down right up until the Entomological Society of America Meeting.  (The ESA is sponsoring a “clean” limerick contest; I take the position that the only good limerick is a bawdy limerick. I’m just naughty and transgressive like that.)
Posted in Entomology, Insects. Tags: , , . 1 Comment »

Ribald Tales of Entomology Limerick Contest: Honorable Mention #3

November 7, 2011 — Bug Girl

It’s time for another reveal of a winner in the contest! I’ll keep counting them down right up until the Entomological Society of America Meeting.

As you may remember, the ESA is sponsoring a “clean” limerick contest. I take the position that the only good limerick is a bawdy limerick. That’s just how I roll.

Our naughty winner today is:  Best Mention of a Membracid in a Sexually Suggestive Limerick.
And even better, he says he is actually from Limerick, Ireland!

I’ll say this about the membracid
Their horns are never flaccid
Made from augmented wings
they’re wondrous things
One look and the ladies ain’t placid.

Hoist a tankard to our third winner!

I’ll email you an official certificate later this month.

Posted in Entomology, Insects. Tags: , , . 2 Comments »

Ribald Tales of Entomology Limerick Contest: Honorable Mention #2

October 13, 2011 — Bug Girl

It’s time for another reveal of a naughty winner in the contest! I’ll keep counting them down right up until the Entomological Society of America Meeting.

As you may remember, the ESA is sponsoring a “clean” limerick contest. I take the position that the only good limerick is a bawdy limerick. That’s just how I roll.

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical
But the good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

(Thanks to Pieter B. for that one!)
This week’s winner follows a long distinguished tradition of insulting sexual poems and remarks.  The “Yo Momma” insult, for example, was even used by the venerable Bard of Avon. Shakespeare’s “Yo Momma” was regrettably not in limerick form:

Act IV, Scene II of Titus Andronicus

Demetrius: “Villain, what hast thou done?”
Aaron: “That which thou canst not undo.”
Chiron: “Thou hast undone our mother.”
Aaron: “Villain, I have done thy mother.”

“That’s what she said” is also a long established variation on the insult poem, although I haven’t found any evidence of that in Shakespeare. Yet.

Without further ado:

Honorable Mention: Best Genital Insult

Ned B.

There once was a fellow named Paul
Whose wang was exceeding small.
He buggered a bug
On the edge of the rug
And the bug didn’t know it at all.

Hoist a tankard to our second winner!

I’ll email you an official certificate later this month.

Posted in Entomology, Insects. Tags: , , . 2 Comments »

Green Power (in a small multi-legged package)

October 11, 2011 — Bug Girl

Yeah, it’s a viral video, but it’s a viral INSECT video. I clearly need to get my minions better trained so that I can power up my iPhone.
I do feel a little bad for the beetle that was shot out of a cannon, though….

This video also raises some really interesting questions about what it’s “appropriate” to do with insects, compared to other animals.

Posted in Insects, Movies. Tags: , , . 4 Comments »

Ribald Tales of Entomology Limerick Contest: Honorable Mention #1

October 6, 2011 — Bug Girl

At last! The first of our winners!

This malacological limerick didn’t follow the “should be an arthropod” rule, but hey, this contest is all about being naughty and transgressive. So screw the rules!

Honorable Mention: Best Non-Arthropod Limerick

Robin Rosetta

Banana Bob was a slug without malice
who fell deeply for slimey young Alice.
Though all foot, and no arms,
he was not without charms.
Won her with his dolichophallus.

I just couldn’t resist the use of the technical term “dolichophallus”.  That translates to “long penis.”

It is also the species name of the Slender Banana Slug (Ariolimax dolichophallus), and you can read more about their rather rough trade sex life here.  That page will explain:

a. You can make a slug have an erection with a sluggy version of viagra
b. If a slug’s penis is chewed off, it doesn’t grow back.  This is important to know, especially for the slug.

So hoist a tankard to our first winner!

I’ll email you an official certificate later this month, Ms. Rosetta.

Posted in Entomology, Insects, Science. Tags: , , , . 3 Comments »

The Nearctica Waltz (or: Ballad of Lovebugs)

October 2, 2011 — Bug Girl

This wasn’t a submission to the Ribald Tales of Entomology Limerick Contest, but it rhymes, it’s funny, and it’s Arthropod related, so I’m making it an Honorable Mention.

If you haven’t lived in the southern US, you may not recognize the insect that this song is about.  ”Lovebugs,” also known as March flies, are best known for hooking up….and staying that way.  They can form thick clouds of flying insects, and sometimes are a driving hazard.  To make things even better, some car finishes are damaged by squashed bug juice.

Enjoy!

Posted in Entomology, Insects. Tags: , , . Comments Off

Ricky Gervais Explains Spiders

September 4, 2011 — Bug Girl

There is a fair amount of swearing, so you might not want to play this at work. Otherwise, enjoy!

Posted in Entomology, Science, Skepticism. Tags: , , . 5 Comments »

Ben the Overly Literal Dermestid Beetle

August 26, 2011 — Bug Girl

And he’s got a bone to pick!

I can’t believe I am just now finding out about this.

Today’s topic: “_____gate”.  You can’t just go around making prefixes and suffixes out of any syllables you like. There have to be rules for this sort of thing!

Surf around some of Ben’s some other videos–your productivity is at an end.

Posted in Entomology, Insects, Ranting (general). Tags: , . 3 Comments »
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