Colony Collapse Disorder: Psychics solve the mystery!

Oh, this one is good. Rebecca at Skepchick alerted me to the psychic that channels the bees.

Who is this person? According to her blog: “Eileen has a unique ability to merge her consciousness with almost any form of energy. This includes plants, animals, people, and all types of higher entities. “

Which, I guess, is how she talks to the bees like Dr. Doolittle.

The bees apparently don’t like being stuffed in hives:

“Q. What is going on with the bees?
A. …. the bees are in trauma due to the mistreatment of their species. They protest they are being captured and made to work for humans to produce what humans desire rather than their natural state of being which is joyful and organized.”

Additionally, they complain of persecution by wasps:

“They also protest because there is a natural predator which has been released, and allowed to proliferate attacks on the joyful life of these bees. And this is a type of insect which stings and attacks called wasps.”

The bees protest against synthetic chemicals, (although no mention is made of “organic” pesticides, which can also be quite toxic):

“Q. So the bees want to not be limited to our hives.
A. We will no longer allow ourselves to become slave labor with incorrect methods, because the product of our labors is denatured and contaminated. We will not permit this. And there are chemicals on the plants.”

Q. What particular chemicals?
A. Petroleum based. Those chemicals which kill other beings.

At this point in the interview, you’ll notice the bees begin speaking directly through the “psychic.” :D

Lastly, they issue a “so long and thanks for all the pollen” statement:

Q. What can we do to help with the wasp situation?
A. We will not speak of this as we are using this means of eradication of our race so that we can remove our energies to a place which can benefit from what we have to offer.
Q. You say a place meaning—-
A. Another inhabited planetary sphere.

I think it’s safe to say that traveling via angel to another planet is not under investigation by the CCD Working group. (“The bees take their directive from the angelic portion of the Devic kingdom.”)

As for the predatory wasps–I have no idea what this woman is on about, but there are two small groups of solitary wasps that prey on bumble bees, bees, and ants. “Bee wolves” especially prey on honeybees, but they aren’t considered major pests of domesticated bees.

A female bee wolf stings a honey bee, paralyzes it, and carries it back to her underground nest. She then lays an egg on the bee, which is slowly eaten alive by a developing bee wolf larva.

Video of a bee wolf stuffing a bee into her nest

Niko Tinbergen did some of his niftiest behavioral research with bee wolves; thanks to Google you can read some of his books online!

Yellowjacket wasps also occasionally will attack bees, but again, this is not a common occurrence. There is a nice PDF of all the things that like to eat bees here.

So, I don’t think you really needed an entomologist to tell you this woman is a bit cracked, but at least now you know more about bee wolves–and that they probably aren’t the mechanism for a mass interstellar bee rapture.

9 thoughts on “Colony Collapse Disorder: Psychics solve the mystery!

  1. Devas were the evil spirits of Persian mythology, weren’t they? Yes, I’m pretty sure they were the servants of Ahriman, the dark adversary of Ahura-Mazda and a prime contributor to the later Hebrew idea of Satan.

    One more reason why God Hates Bees!

    :-)

  2. As a small fry beekeeper, I would love to ask this lady if the bees are so upset over us keeping them for our own ends, why they haven’t left before now?

    And I don’t mean left to another planet, which seems a little extreme, they could just leave the hives we put them in. I mean, it’s not like we tie the queen down, or hold bee larva hostage. The entire hive is free to leave at any time, and have been free to do so since the very first person made the very first hive.

    You’d think they wouldn’t have waited 4,000 years or so to leave, but would have maybe all flown away after the first few hundred years of slavery.

  3. Yeah, bees shouldn’t be forced to live in colonies and collect pollen and make honey. They should all go free so that they can live in colonies, collect pollen, and make honey. Jesus H. Christ on a Pole.

    Maybe she can channel the earwigs so I can learn why they’ve got it in for my garden. Wait, I can guess — it’s karmic retribution for that bottle of aphid soap I bought.

  4. Oh shit! What if we get, like, Bee Liberation Ecoterrorists? They’ll start bombing the Alaskan Honey Pipeline or something, and they’ll throw Molotov Cocktails at nice old beekeepers. And what about my morning glories? The bees love those. They’ll think I’m supporting the bee slavery! I’ve gotta run before some angry Bee Liberation Activists put a brick through my window.

  5. Pingback: Beepocalypse » She is the psychic, she speaks for the bees.

  6. Pingback: Psychic healer discovers true cause of Colony Collapse Disorder « Forbidden Music

  7. Question Question Question !!!
    As far as Bees go, whats the best way to keep the lil’ shits away? I used to love bees until last year when a yellow jacket sent my ass into Anaphylasix (and introduced me to Epi)….Now Yellow jackets can kiss my ass…Other bees are just fine however. Kinder softer bees who don’t feel the need to chase you if you come within a 20 mile loop of them. So any help in keeping the Yellow devils away ?

Comments are closed.