At last! The first of our winners!
This malacological limerick didn’t follow the “should be an arthropod” rule, but hey, this contest is all about being naughty and transgressive. So screw the rules!
Honorable Mention: Best Non-Arthropod Limerick
Banana Bob was a slug without malice
who fell deeply for slimey young Alice.
Though all foot, and no arms,
he was not without charms.
Won her with his dolichophallus.
I just couldn’t resist the use of the technical term “dolichophallus”. That translates to “long penis.”
It is also the species name of the Slender Banana Slug (Ariolimax dolichophallus), and you can read more about their rather rough trade sex life here. That page will explain:
a. You can make a slug have an erection with a sluggy version of viagra
b. If a slug’s penis is chewed off, it doesn’t grow back. This is important to know, especially for the slug.
So hoist a tankard to our first winner!
I’ll email you an official certificate later this month, Ms. Rosetta.