If you’ve been blogging for a while, or if you have a decent amount of traffic, you’re going to start getting these emails. It’s basically a form letter, asking if you would let some blogger corporate shill do a guest post, or offering to write a post for you.


This particular one is pretty standard; note that the template has some non sequiturs where the template breaks.  (Also, SNORF at “related to the niche of our sex shop.”)

The typical setup if you agree is the spammer provides a blog post that is shot through with links to their shop or to marketing partners. That creates more links for them and more Google Juice, as well as increases their exposure. They don’t want to pay for this, of course.

The letters I get are usually from pesticide companies, although I did get a bunch like this right after I wrote my post about SpiderMan’s penis.  I’ve found that if I reply with a completely off-the-wall request, but make it seem serious, they run away and never come back.  You want to sound like you are both in earnest and completely unhinged.

This was my reply.

spam response

Have never heard from this company or person again :D

I’m not sure if I would recommend this as a method of dealing with all the spam requests I receive, but it amuses me, and probably wastes some of the spammer’s time. So we’re even.

Posted by Gwen Pearson

Writer. Nerd. Insect Evangelist. Have you heard the good news? BUGS!


  1. Hilarious…. I almost spit my coffee out!;-)

  2. I get these all the time and Eeeew!

  3. Ugh, I hate those things. I don’t get sex-related stuff, but I get a constant stream of emails asking to do guest posts or asking to link to their sites, which are only vaguely related to my blog if they’re related at all. It’s always apparent that they don’t care what my blog is actually about or do even minimal research.

    Then a couple days ago I got a message from someone asking to buy my website — my Google-owned Blogspot blog!

  4. I would totally quote them an outrageous price, just to see what happens! Also, ask for 5,279 green M&Ms.

  5. Tell them your green M&Ms are for your grasshopper admirers.

  6. LOL – (in the reality sense)

  7. Insect sex toys. Priceless!!

  8. Hahaha! Incredible!

  9. Me, I love the ones that offer their pre-generated Google Juice accumulators, but who offer to pay…in “social media points,” whatever the hell that is. I won’t even start with the ones who get a “no” and then nag every couple of days just to see if I’ve changed my mind.

  10. I am thinking that all of the serious bloggers can be certain to be aware that all of the best and most enthusiastic insectuous sexual toys and apparatus can only be located and admired at the website of which I am continually providing for your total enjoyment. Please to send your dollars, pounds and euros to this your compassionate supplier. With many gratitudes.

  11. AND….I am still not being receiving the book of jewel beetles of which you have had for many a time from the purveyor of Canada.

  12. LOL at George for comment win! :D

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